Optional

One night, with examinations looming, I was ostensibly studying when a thought struck me. What was I really doing? Was I genuinely studying or merely daydreaming in the dead of night? My thoughts raced at light speed, reflecting on everything I had done this year—the people I met, the friends I made, and how they treated me. Was it good or bad?

I found people whom I now trust immensely, but do they trust me the same way? Am I truly important to them? Does my existence matter in their lives? I wondered...

My thoughts accelerated...
3 x 10⁸, 3 x 10⁹, 3 x 10¹⁰ m/s... and still gaining momentum.

I started recalling instances with various individuals, moments where I experienced something novel, a feeling that had never permeated my body or soul. Some people genuinely treated me well and continue to do so; I hold no grievances against them. But there were others who treated me well when they needed something from me, only to ghost me afterward as if I never existed. I sought reasons for why I was cast aside but never found any. I never asked them directly because I was still the same person, concerned about their feelings, fearing they might feel uneasy if I confronted them. So, I remained silent. Should I have asked? If I had, wouldn't they have told me if I had done something wrong? Their silence suggested that they never really wanted me permanently; everything seemed premeditated.

As I pondered this and simultaneously scrolled through my study materials, a dialogue box suddenly appeared, prompting me to log in to gain access to the website. I filled in the necessary details and resumed reading. Once I finished, I pressed the exit button on the webpage, and almost instantaneously, another dialogue box popped up: 

"Rate us!*:_______" 
"Any feedback (Optional):______"

I rated the page, as it was mandatory, but left the feedback space blank since it was optional. This simple action illuminated how the human mind often operates. Savvy individuals use you while you serve a purpose in their lives. Once your usefulness is exhausted, they rate you—sharing their opinions, whether good or bad, reflecting whether they part with you amicably or ghost you. Feedback is optional, so they don’t owe you an explanation, leaving you in a void of uncertainty. Everything is judged based on the rating you’ve received.

And yes, I realized I was always that "optional" person in their lives.

Have any of you experienced similar situations? What feedback did you receive, Do Let me know.

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